Another typhoon, another blog post. Looks like I’m relying on bad weather to stick to my promise of more frequent updates. And I have plenty of time on my hands this weekend, what with Typhoon Soudelor currently barreling across Taiwan and leaving a trail of destruction in its wake.

the typhoon approaching Taiwan, chilling here for a while, and then moving on to Mainland China.

Radar maps show the typhoon approaching Taiwan, chilling here for a while, and then moving on to Mainland China.

In the two years I’ve lived in Taipei, I’ve experienced five or six typhoons, but none have been accompanied by the amount of hype that this storm sparked. Well-warrantedThose 23 million of us residing on this tiny island nation were warned to prepare for a direct strike by the strongest storm on Earth this year, with damaging winds and life-threatening flooding forecasted across the country.

my park on Friday afternoon as storm clouds rolled in. The weather is always its most perfect just before a storm.

my park on Friday afternoon as storm clouds rolled in. The weather is always its most perfect just before a storm.

a bit windy, but not too bad yet.

a bit windy, but not too bad yet.

I had a half day of work on Friday and I could already tell the advisories from the Central Weather Bureau held water, and lots of it, while I was driving across Taipei that evening. By 6pm the winds were gusting so strongly that it was hard to keep my scooter moving in a straight line. I bought some mantou and peanut butter from the grocery, grabbed water from 7-11, and holed up in my apartment with the intention of staying put until the typhoon was well on its way to China.

Soudelor's projected path.

Soudelor’s projected path.

But really, who can stay inside for hours at a time? After a restless night listening to the driving rain and the wind howling down my alley, I ventured outdoors around 6am, just as the storm was making landfall on the island. Things were pretty dicey at that point yet, and it was hard slogging into the wind. The rain was driving down and even though I was wearing my scooter rain clothes, generally good protection in heavy rain, I still got soaked. I noticed many upturned trees and wind tossed scooters, and wanted to keep rambling, but when a branch and a chunk of signage flew past me within ten seconds I decided to head back to my cozy little apartment.

my street.

my street – you can see the rain driving down.

walking around my neighborhood.

walking around my neighborhood.

lots of trees down.

lots of trees down.

the bus sign stayed upright.

the bus sign stayed upright.

most streets look something like this.

most streets look something like this.

Our little island is directly in the path of the typhoon, acting as a buffer against the storm before it tracks onto Mainland China. As the storm slows over Taiwan’s rugged terrain, taking a path almost right across the middle, though, we’re being deluged with heavy rainfall and slightly terrifying winds measuring at almost 100mph here in Taipei. The news said that gusts were over 140mph nearer the coast, and that over 4 feet of rain fell in the mountains.

A lot of that rain came down into the rivers, and when I went back outside around 11am, I headed over to my park… except it wasn’t exactly there anymore. The entire stretch of park that runs along the Tamsui River had disappeared into the river – bike and running paths, green grass, and basketball courts. I go to this park every morning to run and often in the evening to bike, and I hope the water recedes soon so that the massive amounts of debris can start being cleared.

my once lovely park.

my once lovely park.

flooded.

flooded.

and covered in debris.

and covered in debris.

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basketball, anyone?

basketball, anyone?

trees and hoops underwater.

trees and hoops underwater.

The eye of Soudelor is passing over us as I write now, so the wind isn’t howling quite so loudly as it did all night and morning. People in my neighborhood have grasped the period of calm to begin clearing the sidewalks and alleys and pick up scooters and potted plants and pieces of broken signs. A lot of roads are still blocked by fallen trees and road signs. The skies are forecast to be clear by tomorrow (Sunday) evening, and I hope Taiwan will be able to write this one off as not too significantly damaging.

UPDATE: my apartment hasn’t had water for hours now. Depending on whether church is canceled tomorrow, I’ll probably swing by a friend’s place to shower. For now, I’m brushing my teeth with 7-11’s finest bottled water.

Earlier this week, I got together with three friends who also happen to be from the great state of NJ, or near about there. I still had a box of Taylor Ham left from the stash that Katy smuggled over on her last trip to the U.S. Taiwan/Jersey-style Taylor Ham, egg, and cheeses for dinner, games, and amazing friends make for a great mid-week break.

haha

haha

these guys...

these guys…

so grateful for this one's friendship... and her awesome ability to smuggle processed meat through customs.

so grateful for this one’s friendship… and her awesome ability to smuggle processed meat through customs.

I’ve had it a bit easier at work wince returning from Myanmar a week ago. I’m teaching my same old kindergarten class from last year, who have moved up to 中班, or Middle Class. I love this class the most because they have been mine since day one. It’s up to me to mold them and teach them everything they know, and they’re such an energetic bunch of crazy little hooligans. We’ve added some new faces this semester, but I’m confident they’ll soon catch up to the level of my returning students. I’m really looking forward to a second year of school together.

if there is ever a shot where everyone is looking at the camera at the same time...

if there is ever a shot where everyone is looking at the camera at the same time…

these are my current Middle Class, so I'll teach them for two more years before they graduate. They are all pretty stellar because I've raised them myself haha.

these are my current Middle Class, so I’ll teach them for two more years before they graduate. They are all pretty stellar because I’ve raised them myself haha.

and here we are field tripping it up.

and here we are field tripping it up.

I’ve also taken over a 大班, or Big Class, the highest level of kindergarten, which I am not enjoying at all. I think the problem is that I keep comparing them to my own 大班 who graduated last semester, and who were absolutely perfect, if I do say so myself. But seriously, that class’s English level was pretty incredible by the time I let them go, and this new Big Class just doesn’t compare. We’re going to have to start all over again with CVC words before I can even move on to blended consonants, and writing is pretty much from scratch too. They’re also challenged when it comes to behaving in class, but I laid down the law this week and things are going a bit better now. I hope I start to like them more over the next few weeks, because it’s up to me to make sure they can read and write by next June.

These two classes are in preparation period for two weeks, and the last week of August we start assessed teaching, which will mean a ton more work with testing, grading, progress reports, and parent communication books. Needless to say, I’m enjoying the bit of downtime I have while it lasts. My three middle-school level evening classes are on break until then, too, which means I finish work at 4pm instead of 9. Another busy semester coming up.

these are my Big Class students that graduated last month. One of my all-time favorite classes.

these are my Big Class students that graduated last month. One of my all-time favorite classes.

and James, one of my all-time favorite kiddos.

and James, one of my all-time favorite kiddos.

Hey, remember when I used to blog once a week, and sometimes even twice or three times? I don’t either, nor do I recall how I possibly ever had that much time on my hands.

I’ve got some unexpected free time today, though — the whole day, in fact. Thank you, Typhoon Chan-hom, for a three day weekend! Typhoon days are similar to snow days in America, though they’re usually announced long before midnight the eve of a storm’s expected landfall. I got the call from my boss yesterday night when nothing except rolling black clouds indicated a typhoon was imminent, and woke up this morning to heavy rain and wind and the thought that this was the perfect day to catch up on blogging.

typhoon chan-hom bears down on Taiwan. this website is really cool; it live tracks the storms so that viewers can watch them approach. the one about to sweep the north of Taiwan is actually the second in a set of three - the first missed us to the south, and the third one behind Chan-hom is the strongest.

Typhoon Chan-hom bears down on Taiwan. this website is really cool; it live tracks the storms so that viewers can watch them swirl around the globe. The typhoon about to sweep the north of Taiwan is actually the second in a set of three – the first missed us to the south, and the third one behind Chan-hom is the strongest.

And so here we are, well into the hot and humid days of summer in Taiwan. The plum rains of May and June ended a while ago and we’ve clearly moved into typhoon season, though the days between storms are sunny and hot and beautiful. I spend as much time outside as I can, even though that means showering two or three times a day. I like to go to the park near my house in the early morning to run or bike. I also love to go riding in the evenings, either in the mountains or up to the coast, as the sunsets are gorgeous this times of year.

sunset while motorcycling.

sunset while motorcycling.

gorgeous ride up along the coast.

gorgeous ride up along the coast.

look at that sky.

look at that sky.

this was a ride up to the highest peak in the Taipei area, just this week - two days before the typhoon hit.

this was a ride up to the highest peak in the Taipei area, just this week – two days before the typhoon hit. you can see how windy it was up there by looking at the grass being flattened along the roadside.

can you tell there was a storm on the way?

can you tell there was a storm on the way?

I can’t believe it’s been almost two months since I’ve returned from my trip to Beijing. Ever since, life has moved at warp speed, and I’ve not had much time to catch my breath. It’s been a jam-packed few months of trips and friend dates and cramming in studying whenever and wherever I can. My dragon boat competition has come and gone, and so I no longer need to spend hours of the week down on the river. I’ve had a birthday trip to Taichung for all the “June babies,” many motorcycle trips out into the mountains and along the coast, a fancy night out at the Far Eastern in qipao dress, and a couple of long nights singing it loud at KTV.

This past Fourth of July weekend I went with a bunch of friends to Taichung for the day. We grabbed a bus around 11 and showed up in time to grab some TGI Friday’s at AmCham’s 4th of July celebration. From there we took a cab ride to the Rainbow Village, an old military settlement turned tourist hotspot a bit outside of the city. This is either street art at its finest or oddity central – and all painted by a single veteran grandpa in his retirement years. The best bit of our visit was running across a dude masquerading as Ironman, who grabbed Katy’s camera and worked some magic with his poses. We spent a couple hours in a cafe to escape the heat, and finished off the day with some night marketing.

love love love these ladies and so thankful for their friendship.

love love love these ladies and so thankful for their friendship.

got us some Friday's;)

got us some Friday’s;)

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part of Taichung's Rainbow Village

part of Taichung’s Rainbow Village

this crew...

this crew…

and Ironman.

and Ironman.

don't forget Ironman.

never forget Ironman. dude takes a mean picture.

there are aboriginal figures painted all over the walls of the village.

there are aboriginal figures painted all over the walls of the village.

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duck faces.

duck faces.

finally made it to one of Taiwan's more famous night markets. place is huge.

finally made it to one of Taiwan’s more famous night markets. place is huge.

games!

games!

amazing friends.

amazing friends.

Most of the blame for my lack of blog posts can be cast on my job, which has been ridiculously busy these past two months. I’m on the clock for 34 in-classroom teaching hours, and I can tag a whole lot more for prep and grading and extra activities. A fifty hour workweek is nothing new, but I taught a graduating class this year and the responsibilities that come with sending them off to their next level are astronomical. I don’t feel like reliving it, but let’s just say I’m grateful they’re graduation and my life has gone back to normal.

I’ve found over the years that I need to be on the brink of being too busy, or I’ll constantly be on the brink of stir crazy. It is nice having the odd day out where I can take the time to catch up on those things that tend to go undone (read, I’ve cleaned my apartment for the first time in a month). And so I hope to soon be back to more regular posts. This blog has become my scrapbook over the years, and I want to record all of my adventures so I can look back someday and relive my time abroad. Be on the lookout for posts updating the last couple months of my life.

let’s go to tai o!

Posted: May 20, 2015 in hong kong

Last time I was in Hong Kong I called up an old friend from my Beijing days, who currently lives in Shenzhen, China. We hadn’t seen each other in almost two years, since we’d both left Beijing, and it was great to catch up. It’s an easy enough thing to make the border crossing by bus or train from Shenzhen or Guangzhou into HK and vice versa, or it would be if so many Chinese didn’t constantly go back and forth to buy up all of HK’s milk powder and other goods superior to Chinese manufactured products. Even though China had just recently imposed limits on how many times its citizens could cross back and forth, I got a texted picture from my friend showing the massive line waiting to get through immigration and onto the bus to HK. She still managed to make it over, though, and we met up in Hong Kong’s central station, skirted past the weekly Maid Parade, and headed over to the Central Piers to catch a ferry out to Tai O Village on Lantau Island.

scenic Tai O village.

scenic Tai O village.

A short half hour ride over choppy water later, and we arrived at the docks on Lantau, the same island where Hong Kong’s airport is located. We hopped on a bus out to Tai O fishing village and arrived a solid hour later. Tai O, for all that it is quite a touristy place, still manages to retain a quaint, though somewhat less than idyllic, vibe. The village is famous for its stilt houses that were built up over the tidal flats of Lantau generations ago; it’s one of the few remaining places in Hong Kong where they can still be seen. The stilt houses are connected by bridges and sheets of metal and plywood, so Tai O remains a tightly knit community that doesn’t seem to have changed much over the past decades.

fishing boats in the harbor.

fishing boats in the harbor.

some of Tai O's famous stilt houses.

some of Tai O’s famous stilt houses.

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stilted village.

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boat is the way to get around here.

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two years since those Beijing times.

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Tai O is beautifully situated on the coast of the island, framed by mountains, and the colorful stilt houses add to the scene. The village used to be an important fishing port, but trade is a thing of the past as the younger generations move away. The old folk in town still maintain a lively seafood market, which is popular with tourists too. We moseyed around for a bit, and then hiked out past the village to the harbor to take in the views.

dragon boats in the village!

dragon boats in the village!

supposedly there's a great dragon boat competition during Duanwujie. We were there about two months too early.

supposedly there’s a great dragon boat competition during Duanwujie. We were there about two months too early.

water roads.

water roads.

a back alley between homes.

a back alley between homes.

selling seafood.

selling seafood.

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great little place.

great little place.

Getting on in the afternoon, we caught a boat to take us around the village. We cruised down the water roads past many of the stilt houses that we’d just walked over, getting a nice front door view, and able to see some more local activity. Our boat then headed out to open water, and took us along the coast of Lantau for a bit, where we could take in the rugged coastline. Supposedly there are pink dolphins swimming in the area, but I didn’t notice any jumping past.

heading out to open water.

heading out to open water.

After the same bus and ferry routine to get back to Hong Kong Island, we finished off the night by grabbing some Tim Ho Wan to go and eating it on a dock overlooking Victoria Harbor. Great memories!

hong kong run

Posted: May 15, 2015 in hong kong

I know, I know. It’s been too long without a blog again. I can only blame life, which continues to move along at top speed, leaving me little time to update you guys on everything that goes on in said life. These days, work is mostly to blame. We’re two months from semester’s end, and as I have 大班, or big class, I’ve got a graduation to plan and execute, in addition to 32 in-class hours and all attendant prep and grading outside the classroom. Hardly an ideal time to take a vacation.

love me some Hong Kong.

love me some Hong Kong.

On the other hand, it’s an excellent time to take a breather and avoid burnout. So I’m going to China! Heading back “home” to Beijing for eight days, and I’m beyond excited. I’ve been cleared to enter the Land of Red again, though getting my new visa was anything but easy. Constantly changing visa laws always make it difficult to gauge the current situation on gaining entry to China, but I did some research and nailed down what I thought was a simple, efficient plan.

For obvious reasons, there’s no Chinese Embassy in Taiwan, so I’d have to use a third-country option to get my hands on a visa. It would be cheaper to fly to Hong Kong and apply in person with China’s Foreign Ministry than to send my passport out using a Taiwan-based agent, so I booked a flight for a Friday morning in late April, thinking I’d apply for the visa that afternoon using the rush service, collect it a day later, and be back in Taipei by Sunday night. And I’d get to chill in Hong Kong for three days, to boot.

But, wait. Two years out, and I already seem to have forgotten who I’m dealing with. Nothing’s easy when it comes to China, and my visa wasn’t about to become the exception. After a lot of back and forth and paper shuffling and showing all my previous Chinese residency permits, I was told the only visa I could possibly be issued was the new reciprocal ten-year, unlimited-entry type – and that it wouldn’t be ready until Monday evening.

I gritted my teeth and changed my flight, immensely grateful to HK Airlines for not slapping me with a fee, since I was about to hand over a hefty chunk of change to the Chinese government. I frantically Lined and called coworkers back in Taiwan to find subs to cover my Monday classes. Next, I whited-out my Taipei company and address on my visa form and replaced them with false American information, since Chinese visas must be applied for outside of China (and yes, where the Foreign Ministry is concerned, that runaway, self-governing little island is indeed still a part of China). I finally jumped on the good old A11 to Causeway Bay, checked into the same old place I always stay in Hong Kong, and spent a miserable four days worrying whether my visa would actually come through.

Just kidding.

Sure, I was stressed about the visa, but I still had an amazing long weekend because HONG KONG. I love this city. It’d been almost eight months since my last visit, and the last couple times I’ve been I’d mostly just met friends and eaten and shopped for essentials that we don’t have in Taipei. No matter how long or short I’m in the city, I always make time for a stroll along the TST because THAT SKYLINE. An even more stunning view of the city can be found from atop Victoria Peak, though, and when Saturday dawned clear and blue, I knew I wanted to go take in the city view from above. I should do this every time I’m in HK because it’s an incomparable sight.

love this city, love this view.

love this city, love this view.


Hong Kong from Victoria Peak.

Hong Kong from Victoria Peak.


end of April, but chilling this high up.

end of April, but chilling this high up.


can't get enough.

can’t get enough.


I stayed up there until after dark because the night view is stellar.

I stayed up there until after dark because the night view is stellar.

Hong Kong also has some incredible hiking trails, especially on the outlying islands. I decided to take the five-hour Dragon’s Back loop on Hong Kong Island, and ended up at Big Wave Bay in Shek O, where I spent a few hours reading on the beach.

trekking through bamboo jungle.

trekking through bamboo jungle.


I like hiking in HK because many of the trails run beside water, and offer views of the city as well.

I like hiking on Hong Kong Island because many of the trails run beside water, and offer views of the city as well.


just a lil r and r.

just a lil r and r.


lunchtime.

lunchtime.


definitely elements of Britain here.

definitely elements of Britain here.


mid-levels in central. thanks heavens for the famed escalator system.

mid-levels in central. thanks heavens for the famed escalator system.


I love riding the trams with open windows.

I love riding the trams with open windows.


HK's neon lights.

HK’s neon lights.


my second favorite skyline.

my second favorite skyline.

I spent Sunday with a friend from Beijing that I hadn’t seen in almost two years. She lives in Shenzhen now, a relatively easy trip into Hong Kong. We met up in Central and took a ferry over to Lantau Island, where we spent the afternoon chilling in Tai O before heading back to HK Island for some Tim Ho Wan and night sights. By the time Monday rolled around, (you know, the day I should have been working), I was in full vacation mode. I took a book and some writing and went to the Starbucks on the TST to just sit and stare across at the skyline for hours.

the beauty of HK.

the beauty of HK.


...

 

I caught a late afternoon bus out to the airport, where I discovered my worrying had been for nothing. I have been issued a TEN-YEAR UNLIMITED ENTRY visa to China. I’m set for the next decade. Even though I argued against it at first, I realize that this is actually completely in my favor. A single-entry Chinese visa applied from HK was running me USD300 anyway. For only $150 more, I can go in and out of China whenever I want, as opposed to paying the fee and going through this entire hassle again.

a HK pharmacy window.

a pharmacy window.

Got a flight in a couple hours and nothing’s packed… stories from China to come!

conquering teapot mountain

Posted: April 20, 2015 in taiwan travel
this way to teapot mountain!

this way to teapot mountain!

On the last day of the Qingming holiday (yes, this post dates all the way back to April – I’m playing catchup), a group of friends and I hiked to the summit of 茶壺山 (Chahushan) and along the ridges of 半平山 (Banpingshan) back down to the small town of Jiufen. We were blessed with some of the most beautiful weather I’ve seen in Taiwan – or perhaps it just felt like that because I was out in nature with the mountains around me and the ocean in view. But the bright blue water and the brighter blue sky combined with the dark green trees and light green grass made for stunning scenery. The sun was shining, but the temperature only hovered around the high 70s.

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you can see the “teapot” way far in the distance. I thought it looked more like a Thanksgiving turkey.

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stunning views.

stunning views.

off along the road to the next trail.

off along the road to the next trail.

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these guys...

these guys…

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we’ve come quite  a ways, huh?

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walking the trail toward Teapot.

whoops, almost bought the farm there.

whoops, almost bought the farm there.

those stairs tuckered us out. beautiful place for a rest, though.

those stairs tuckered us out. beautiful place for a rest, though.

these ferny plant things are everywhere I go in Taiwan - near the coast, in the the mountains, north, central and south - and I love them.

These ferny plant things are everywhere I go in Taiwan – near the coast, in the the mountains, north, central and south – and I love them. They make for some stunning scenery.

Chahushan, or Teapot Mountain, is an easy hike, only about 11K, with some interesting challenges along the way. As with most hiking trails in Taiwan, this one began with a few hundred meters of stairs, which led up to a level road and stunning views of the Pacific. From there it was ridge trails through scrub and bush, and rocky climbs along exposed cliffs to the base of the “teapot” rock at the summit. We used ropes to climb in and through the rock and out the other side. From there, it was an easy choice to hang a right and continue on toward Banping Mountain, rather then head down along the “dragon’s spine” in the opposite direction.

taking a breather with these hotties.

taking a breather with these hotties.

looking up into the teapot.

looking up into the teapot.

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views from atop.

views from atop.

the view out the other side.

the view out the other side – you can see the “dragon’s spine” topping that ridge. we climbed all the way up and over, then hung a right to go back down toward Jiufen town.

just chilling in a teapot.

just chilling in a teapot nbd.

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another view of the ridge leading to banpingshan.

another view of the ridge leading to banpingshan.

We took a breather along Banpingshan’s ridge line as the sun lowered in the sky. As we sat there it became decidedly cooler and clouds began to roll in, misting past us on the breeze. It’s a phenomenal feeling to be inside a cloud and to reach out and touch it. While hiking the rest of the way down toward Jiufen we caught a stunning sunset – the clouds were lit from within, and Keelung Mountain was visible in the distance. Just an overall fantastic day with some stellar people.

the heaven's are telling.

the heavens are telling.

love these ladies!

love these ladies!

taking a breather.

taking a breather.

clouds rolling in over the mountains.

clouds rolling in over the mountains.

NOT a dress, to my sisters who have already suggested as much. just a jacket.

NOT a dress, to my sisters who have already suggested as much. just a jacket.

some of the most beautiful country I've ever seen. never going to tire of these views.

some of the most beautiful country I’ve ever seen. never going to tire of these views.

Taiwan has thousands of hiking trails, including many in this same northeast corner of the island. This hike ranks right up there with my favorites Xiangshan and Yangminshan’s Qixingshan, only Teapot had way fewer hikers than the first and way fewer stairs than the second. Combined with the day’s perfect weather, it was a great trip. And now, because I love sunsets and because I’ve seen countless stunners in Taiwan and not showed them off, let me bombard you with photos of the sunset that we caught while hiking down from the summit.

such beauty.

the clouds, as the sun began to set.

such beauty.

such beauty.

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sea of clouds.

the sun goes down over Taiwan's north coast.

the sun goes down over Taiwan’s north coast.

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the night lights.

the night lights of Jiufen.

Roads in Taiwan are somewhat of a free-for-all, particularly in the rough-and-tumble neighborhoods on the outskirts of Taipei where I do a lot of driving. Hello, Sanchong. Major highways to city blocks to back alleys are crowded with heavy traffic, borderline anarchic drivers, and a random assortment of obstacles that even the most careful driver is hard-pressed to avoid. I’ve had my share of near misses, though I’ve yet to actually hit anything. I mean, unless you count the time I drove into a post on the sidewalk meant to prevent people from driving on the sidewalk.

this is my bike.

this is my bike on a jaunt outside Taipei. the only thing I have to worry about running into here is a cloud.

Taiwan’s roads might appear lawless, but there actually is an orderly flow to traffic that most people somehow understand and take in stride. Who am I to interrupt things by stopping at a red light or making a two point left turn? Just kidding, but my reflexes aren’t. While the de facto rules of the road are quite similar to any in America, the traffic conditions are vastly different – it’d be unthinkable that a few regulations not go to pot when some 15 million motorbikes are factored into the mix, along with any number of these hazards:

Blue trucks of death: Taiwan has countless small pickup trucks, many boxed, all painted blue, and all my personal worst enemy. They’re usually driven by construction workers wired on the nut and Taiwan beer, and smoking cigarettes. I’ve had countless close calls with these blue death traps, because they’re small enough to weave in and out of the bike lanes to gain a few car lengths, and brash enough to bump a few scooters aside to do it.

one of Taiwan's ubiquitous kamikaze trucks.

one of Taiwan’s ubiquitous kamikaze trucks.

Taike: Gangsters and their henchmen, and even wannabe gangsters, should be avoided at all costs. I’ve seen enough of these guys in my neighborhood to easily identify them now, and I give wide berth to large black vehicles or late model scooters pimped out with LED lights. They drive like maniacs, plus you just never know with lawless, helmet-less sorts. Also, taike are a solid nine on the creeper scale. I can’t count how many times a muffler-less bike has pulled up next to me at an intersection and, instead of blowing through the red-light per taike driving protocol, the rider actually stopped – to gawk at the white girl invading their hood. I’m pretty sure my foreign face would act as a deterrent were I ever to have an issue with one of these guys, but I’d rather not find out.

Miaohui: Since most god parades are organized by above-mentioned gangsters, it’s wise to stop and wait for the dancing pagans to pass by or to just choose another route. Miaohui might last a while, and who knows what sort of reaction you’d provoke by zooming around the procession in an attempt to get to the front. There’s also a strong possibility you might drive into a fireworks display in the middle of the road, since temple workers don’t much care where they strew boxes of roman candles and long red lines of firecrackers.

don't cross these guys.

don’t cross these guys.

Funeral processions: This is another event that one would be wise to avoid driving through, especially since 70% of Taiwanese funerals hire strippers and you’d be liable to drive into something while you were watching the spectacle. Plus, it’s just plain rude to crash someone’s death parade and, if my Taiwanese friends are to be believed, terrible fortune and bad favor from the gods.

Tented events: Some are funerals as well; others are temple fairs or rallies or who even knows what. I’ll be driving down the street, usually a smaller back one, when I suddenly run smack up against a large tent obstructing more than half the road’s width for a good 500m or so. Not gonna lie, a time or two they’ve come up so suddenly that I’ve been unable to slow down and swing out into the opposing lane past the tent, and instead had to zip along the inside wall of the tent and out the other end. I considered grabbing a chicken leg off a table of food one time as I blasted past, but fortunately I realized at the last second that it was an offering to the temple gods watching me tear up their temporary residence.

strippers atop jeeps make their way through my hood.

pole dancers atop jeeps make their way through my hood.

Garbage trucks: It’s not so much the trucks that I need to worry about. These not only move at a snail’s pace, they also play classical music to alert me to their presence on the road. No, it’s more the people who come flying out of doorways and alleys and from behind parked cars with bags of garbage and recycling. They won’t let a scooter come between them and tossing their trash, so I constantly have to watch out that I don’t mow down some little old lady standing in the middle of the road flagging down the truck with her bag of vegetable scraps.

Freelance recyclers: I’ve seen these guys roam expressways and small lanes looking for scraps of recycling to pile on their wheeled contraptions and drag around town. Another part of Taiwan’s terrific trash tribe, they tend to be of the older generations and moonlight their way around the city as garbage pickers who sell their findings back to the city for cash. They’re dicey to drive around because in spite of their geriatric pace they make unpredictable maneuvers into moving traffic.

this dude roams around my block.

this dude roams around my block.

Roadwork: Well, duh, you’re thinking, that’s an obvious one. But it’s worth mentioning because road construction in Taiwan manages to scare the crap out of me every. single. time. I’ll be driving along and see a crane or whatever ahead and maybe slow it down a bit, and then almost drive off the road when I see robotic mannequin dressed in high visibility gear and waving glowsticks. These figures are so lifelike it’s not until I’m almost on top of them that I realize they’re robots, and without fail I lose my cool for the next twelve blocks.

a robotic construction mannequin.

a robotic construction mannequin.

Stray dogs: In Sanchong, where I live, there are mutts running around everywhere. They may or may not belong to someone, and are no trouble at all to the general public, but they do randomly appear in front of my bike or dash across the street with no warning. I’ve swerved more times than I can count trying to avoid toasting these buggers.

Election demonstrations: For whatever reason, whether tradition or lack of common sense, it’s quite popular to hold election rallies (and set oneself up as an easy target) in the middle of the road. Should you happen upon an opposition candidate, you could easily putter past shouting insults and then burn out of there. And heaven only help should you inadvertently end up in the middle of a scooter brigade demonstrating through the district in support of some candidate. Never fear, these crews are easy to spot beforehand, since the bikes cluster up and trail flags and banners and there’s usually some guy yelling into a megaphone.

election campaigners on scooter.

election campaigners on scooter.

Tissue hander-outers: Were I ever so inclined to accept all proffered packs of tissues overlaid with various advertisements, I’d not have to buy TP for a year. These sorts usually lie in wait on street corners with stoplights so they’ll have a captive crowd on which to ply their flyers and freebies. They’re most definitely not the greatest at timing the red lights, though, and often just as I’m about to turn my throttle and peel away, one of them jumps in front of my bike and waves an ad in my face. Flower sellers also make the grade with this one.

Betelnut spitters: This is nothing like China’s culture of spit, and though I would once have claimed that no excuse on earth justifies hacking up a loogie and hocking it whenever and wherever you please, I guess a mouth full of red betelnut juice is an exception. These guys are generally careful about where they spit, and usually try to aim for a sewer or into a cup. But what’s a guy to do when he’s got both hands on the throttle and brakes of a scooter? I despise driving next to an old geezer hopped up on the nut who decides to let fly with a mouthful as he’s whizzing down the road.

Food vendors: These are generally carts, some with motors and some without, that have the ability to sell fruit, roast nuts and sweet potatoes, steam buns, and cook bowls of noodles and random animal parts. They park on curbs around the city to hawk breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I make full use of their drive-up services, but trouble starts when they bang up and start hauling those rattletraps home. The motorized ones rarely go above 10mph, the pushcarts cut back and forth across city blocks without warning, and I’m 110% sure I’ve never seen one with a light on it. PS, driving through a night market? The first time I made it through one without accidentally bumping someone… well, I’ll let you know when it happens.

a street full of vendor carts. others are built onto the back of motorized tricycles.

a street full of vendor carts. others are built onto the back of motorized tricycles.

Cameras: Well, of course you should worry about getting a letter in the mail with a terribly unglamorous photo of yourself and your license plate. That’s how I was nailed for my first speeding ticket. What’s more dangerous than driving in an area where you’re unaware of existing cameras, though, is driving among people knowledgable that big brother is watching and then squeeze the brakes with little warning in order to suddenly conform to the posted speed limit. If you’re not alert, you’ll ride right up the back of another bike.

Shade stops: Hey, the tropical sun is hot. To execute a proper shade stop, you must be approaching a red light or a light about to turn red and then, upon realizing that the area you would normally stop is in direct sunlight, pull over into the nearest patch of shadows along the curb until the light turns green. Fellow motorists who dread skin a shade beyond lily-white will join you until a large group of bikes blocks anyone getting past the shade of trees or buildings and through to the front of the pack.

Buses: Though they’re equipped with side lights to let you know they’ll be pulling over, it’s still anyone’s guess as to when a bus will cut full-speed into the next lane to make it over to the bus stop in time. Also, much as in China, the biggest vehicle in sight holds the trump card, purely thanks to its ability to muscle others out of the way. Buses pretty much top the pecking order, which goes something like this in Taiwan: Bus > truck > gangster vehicle > taxi > police car > normal car > motorcycle > scooter > bicycle > pedestrian.

may look charming, but this bad boy won't hesitate to rewrite grandma and the reindeer.

may look charming at Christmastime, but this bad boy won’t hesitate to rewrite grandma and the reindeer.

Taxis: Also worth a mention, as I’ve personally almost been taken out twice by these idiots. In fact, the only time I’ve ever seen a hint of road rage here is when one of my Taiwanese friends flipped the bird at a taxi driver who almost ran us up the curb while we were driving through Taipei on his scooter. And rightly so, because these guys will stop at nothing, including murder, to collect Ayi and her fare from the opposite side of the street.

Cyclists: I’ve been on this end quite often myself, so I know where these guys are coming from. I can attest that bicycle riders consider themselves more or less free from all rules of the road, and blow through intersections or veer into traffic from time to time. The thing about cyclists is that they move more slowly than scooter riders, and the latter need to be careful when overtaking a guy pedaling his way across town.

Pedestrians: On the road, you may ask? But a lot of Taiwan is tiny little back alleys that have no sidewalks. And a lot more of Taiwan is nice roads with sidewalks that double as car and scooter lots, and are jam-packed with street vendors and chess players and vegetable sellers and hell money fires and motorcycle mechanics, forcing pedestrians into the street. Scooterists also utilize sidewalks as righthand passing lanes, a driving technique that lends itself to high-speed window shopping and, taken a step further, to the possibility of nationwide drive-thru 7-11s.

Scooters: Size relegates them low on the totem pole, sure. But for the same reason, scooters are able to drive just about anywhere: between lanes of traffic going any speed, on the sidewalks, to the front of traffic jams, and around these many various obstacles. My fellow scooterists run the gamut from helmet-less youths with a death wish; to moms with three kids piled on; to grizzled grandpas able to lane-split with the best of them. I’ve learned a few hard and fast rules apply when you ride in this category.

-If you believe, you can achieve: When I got a Costco membership last year I quickly discovered that there is no limit to the amount of schtuff you can pile on a scooter and still make it down the road at a reasonable clip. I’ve seen families of four plus the dog and five bags of groceries on one bike; two construction workers each holding a canister of plaster with two roped on the back and one nestled in between the driver’s feet; any assortment of loose pets that may or may not jump off and run around at red lights; a guy with at least two hundred cabbages hanging in plastic bags off every side of his ride; people driving with one hand while balancing a bicycle on the back; and many more situations of clown car caliber.

a less-than-prudent approach to transporting the kids.

a less-than-prudent approach to transporting the kids.

-Red light? Proceed with caution, for unless you’re in a major city these are merely suggestions. Slow down, look eight ways, and keep going through the intersection once you’ve confirmed there is no cross traffic or any cameras (devilish laughter is optional). It’s also illegal to turn right on red, so be sure to slow down and check for cops before hanging a right.

-Make gangster lefts: After eighteen months of careful observation, I realize I was played the fool when I got my first ticket for making a simple left turn. Scooters cannot legally turn left at major intersections, but instead must proceed to the marked scooter box which is in front of cross traffic stopped at the red light. Turns out there’s a much more effective and sneaky way to complete the maneuver, which can take an eternity should you approach at a red light, wait for it to change, and then have to wait in the box for the crosslight to change too. It’s much easier to morph into a cyclist for the time it takes you to zip over the crosswalk to your left and then wait for a break in traffic to u-turn.

-Dress to impress: Whether it’s a jacket worn unzipped and backward to ensure maximum wind flow or a fabric mask that covers your mouth, neck, and shoulders, you must be properly attired if you’re a true Taiwanese scooterist. It’s well worth your while to attach oven mitts to your handlebars to protect your hands from undesirable weather and to invest in long socks to cover your arms. Anything kitschy is appropriate, though I believe there are bonus points for Hello Kitty. The only contribution I’ve made toward looking stylish on my bike is a helmet, which happens to be required gear in my part of the country. Oh, and I also wear my old face mask from China when it’s cold… oh my word, I’m turning Taiwanese.

novia demonstrates a proper Taiwanese scootering ensemble. not my bike or, thank goodness, my helmet.

novia models a proper Taiwanese scootering ensemble. not my bike or, thank goodness, my helmet.

-Honk that horn: Horns are rarely honked maliciously or in retaliation. Rather, they’re tapped as a courtesy, just to let others know you’re blowing through an intersection five seconds after the light turned red or that you’re passing and nobody better get in the way. Doesn’t matter whether you’re huandao-ing Taiwan or riding two minutes down your block for dumplings: use your horn to announce your presence when turning corners, blowing through night markets, and passing through all yellow and red lights.

It didn’t take long for me to adjust my riding modus operandi to survive and thrive. My scooter is to me, as most people’s are to them, an essential part of daily life, and dodging kamikaze drivers and weaving around temples gods is all part of it. I ride a fine line between aggressive and defensive driving, and have mastered split-second reactions to all the vehicles and people and oddities I encounter in the hubbub of Taiwanese traffic. There’s not a more challenging or exhilarating way to get around.

my handlebars and helmet watch the start of a lovely sunset.

my handlebars and helmet watch the start of a lovely sunset.

Happy Easter! Happy Tomb-Sweeping Day! Yes, this year the Chinese festival noted for ancestor veneration and the tending of family graves falls on the same day as the Christian holiday that preaches an empty tomb and a risen Lord. This is my ninth Easter Sunday away from home and family, and yet, wherever I am in the world, I’m able to celebrate the resurrection with wonderful believers who are joyful in their faith.

The Western traditions of Easter pass with little fanfare here in Asia, but Qingming Festival is widely celebrated. The main idea of Tomb-Sweeping holiday, as it is dubbed in English, is to take time to remember and honor departed ancestors, preferably by visiting and tending to their burial sites. Families pray, clean tombs, burn incense and hell money, and bring offerings to aid their families in the afterlife. Taiwanese worship and send gifts to the dead year-round, and Qingming’s demonstration of devotion is an extension of the belief that one’s ancestors have the power to directly influence present fortune or misfortune.

Two different holidays, born of two different cultures and religions, somehow similar in their remembrance of death and the life-affirming celebration of springtide, yet marking such a great contrast and such a great need for the gospel. As many people across this country make their way to the gravesides of their loved ones to worship and care for them and to reflect on the lives they led, Christians around the world gather to worship the living Christ and to celebrate the One who conquered the grave on our behalf. The Easter message of a God who is able to deliver from death becomes solemn when around us people offer superstitious worship to those who have no ability to influence their lives.

roadside graveyard near taidong.

roadside graveyard near taidong.

I’m in the midst of a rather delightful and long awaited four-day weekend. We had Friday off for Children’s Day, and because Qingming falls on Sunday this year we get Monday off as well. I made good use of my Good Friday, spending the day tearing around Yangmingshan on a motorcycle. Yangmingshan comprises various peaks and valleys, all with their own unique attractions. We went to see the calla lily fields at Bamboo Lake (no lake to be had, just a name), and Xiaoyoukeng, an old volcano that still spits sulfuric gases into the air. I love riding down the backside of Yangming Mountain down to Jinshan – it’s a fast, twisty ride that will have you hanging from the bushes if you’re not careful. After a bit of time spent along the north coast, we went back up the mountain to Datunshan in time to catch a beautiful sunset.

riding high above the clouds.

riding high above the clouds.

high, twisty roads.

high, twisty roads.

calla lilies are grown up on yangmingshan.

calla lilies are grown up on yangmingshan.

xiaoyoukeng, a dead volcano.

xiaoyoukeng, a dead volcano.

tombs in jinshan. these burial places are more like shrines and are the types visited on Tomb-Sweeping holiday.

tombs in jinshan. these burial places are more like shrines and are the types visited on Tomb-Sweeping holiday.

and a beautiful day for riding my favorite north coast.

and a beautiful day for riding my favorite north coast.

sunrise atop datunshan, one of yangmingshan's peaks.

sunrise atop datunshan, one of yangmingshan’s peaks.

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the tail end of sunset.

the tail end of sunset.

And, since I know I’ve been slacking in the posting department, I’ll share a few more pictures of things I’ve been up to besides blogging. And working. Always working these days. The majority of March was freezing cold and rainy, which made it feel colder still. We had a week of really nice weather temperature-wise, and now the past week and a half or so has seen us transition right into summer – high eighties and sunny and beautiful.

before Holi Taipei.

before Holi Taipei.

during Holi Taipei.

during Holi Taipei.

after Holi Taipei.

after Holi Taipei.

Sunday night shrimping with these wackos.

Sunday night shrimping with these wackos.

oh look, we actually caught one. and no, I wasn't going to be the one pulling it off the hook.

oh look, we actually caught one. and no, I wasn’t going to be the one pulling it off the hook.

with our catch.

with our catch.

Have a happy Easter together:)